之前在本論壇的其他帖子里看到《外貿(mào)英語漢譯英賞析》的帖子http://bbs.fobshanghai.com/thread-53692-1-1.html，里面講了很多關(guān)于外貿(mào)英語的例句和翻譯，自己從中也學到了很多。但在那之前也看到過一篇《(原創(chuàng))新手如何寫好發(fā)信，加大成交率？--附上老外的建議和成交案例 （書已上市）》的帖子，里面說到寫給老外的發(fā)信不能過于啰嗦，要到簡單簡單再簡單，所以對于《外貿(mào)英語漢譯英賞析》里面的一些例句說出自己的一些個人見解，本人是新手，英語更是爛到家，只是想與大家交流交流，也想大家指點一下小弟，絕無其他意思，望相關(guān)人員諒解。下面是我整理出來的一些句子：（有些沒修改就直接放上去，希望原版主不要跟新人計較。如果有什么語法或者語氣不得當?shù)模Ｍ蠹抑更c，在此謝過）(1)? ? ? ? 我們希望指出,這里市場競爭激烈,要想成功地銷出去,你方報價須具有吸引力,否則將有困難.原翻譯：Fierce competition in the local market here means that, it seems obvious to us, it would be difficult for us to promote the sale of your products if your quotation is not attractive to our end-users here.修改（有待確認）：Fierce competition in the local market means that it would be difficult for us to successfully promote your products. Your quotation must be attractive to our end-users.(2)? ? ? ? 如果你方的價格得的話,我們相信能成大生意.原文：If your prices are attractive, we believe we can make big business.修改：You give attractive prices. We can make big business. (語氣是否會太肯定？)(3)? ? ? ? 很高興到你方8月25日詢價,根據(jù)你方要求,今寄上有插圖的目錄和明細價目單.原文：We were very pleased to receive your inquiry of August 25 and enclose our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.修改：Glad to receive your inquiry of August 25. Our illustrated catalogue and detailed price-list will be sending to u.(4)? ? ? ? 我方可保證到訂單后兩周內(nèi)交貨.原文1：We guarantee to deliver the goods within fourteen days of receipt of your order.（交易條款已談妥）原文2：We would try to effect shipment in fourteen days of the receipt of your order.（未確定條款）修改：The receipt of your order would be tried to effect shipment in fourteen days. (“try to”的去留決定條款是否談妥)(5)? ? ? ? 如果是英國人或英聯(lián)邦國家的,可按英國式的"日,月,年"排列,(18 August, 2004 ) ;如果是美國公司或背景不是很清楚的,可按美國式的"月,日,年"詞序排列( 如: August 18, 2004)(6)? ? ? ? 我方產(chǎn)品質(zhì)量上乘,價格合理原文：Our products / goods are both excellent in quality and reasonable in price.修改：Our products are high quality and price is reasonable.(7)? ? ? ? 詢盤①? ? ? ? 大量詢盤證明我們產(chǎn)品質(zhì)量過硬。原文：Hey enquiries witness the quality of our products perfect.②? ? ? ? 很遺憾，你們所詢的貨物現(xiàn)在無貨原文：We regret that the goods you inquire about are not ailable.修改：Most regrettably,the goods you inquire out of stock.（”out of stock”是否有點生僻？）③? ? ? ? 你們的詢盤不明確，我們無法答復原文：Your enquiry is too uncertainty to enable us to reply you.修改：We cannot reply cuz(美式)/coz(英式) your uncertainty enquiry. (待定)④? ? ? ? 既然我們已經(jīng)給你們報價，可否盡快給予答復？原文：Now that we've already given you the quotation, will you pls reply as soon as possible?修改：The quotation of products he been send, pls reply soon, thx.⑤? ? ? ???請告知我對有關(guān)商品的最低接受價。原文：Please let us know your lowest possible prices for the relevant goods.修改：Pls let me know the lowest prices you can accept.⑥? ? ? ???不知你們能不能接受在一段時間里分批交貨？原文：Would you accept delivery spread over a period of time?(8)? ? ? ? 需求大則必然會造成漲價,這一點希望引起你方注意,同時請你們早日作答原文：Active demand will certainly result in increased price, and for this reason we expect your early reply.修改：We expect you’re for active demand result in increased price early reply.(語氣有待改善)
網(wǎng)友回答：(1)? ?? ???我們希望指出,這里市場競爭激烈,要想成功地銷出去,你方報價須具有吸引力,否則將有困難.原翻譯：Fierce competition in the local market here means that, it seems obvious to us, it would be difficult for us to promote the sale of your products if your quotation is not attractive to our end-users here.修改（有待確認）：Fierce competition in the local market means that it would be difficult for us to successfully promote your products. Your quotation must be attractive to our end-users.It will be very difficulet to promote your products i
